On the good things happening: One of my besties is getting married 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 I can’t wait for this testimony to manifest.God is the best at delivering on promises.
On books: Stay with Me by Ayobami Adebayo .I read this amazinnnng book in one sitting.I actually almost got in trouble for it.I was “caught” reading it under the desk (I know !! high school all over again) during a very serious workshop and my boss wasn’t very happy with me. Haha. This is ,so far,the best new African book I have read.And I have read quite a few this year.And to think that this is her debut novel. I envy her so much.
Still on books:Kate Morton.You guys,some people can weave a tale that transports you through time and wreaks havoc on your emotions for a lifetime.If you think great books ended with the Bronte’ sisters,you haven’t read Kate Morton’s secret keeper!!
On love and boys: One word. Hope 🙂 P.S Those who know me will tell you this is a huuuuge step.
On TV: I discovered “the real’ and Iam now one of those girls that are hooked to daytime TV shows.Sad.I feel like Tamera is my soul sister.Haha.And then Adrienne being married to Israel Houghton gives me all kinds of feels.And Jeanie Mae is like that crazy friend that I would love to have in my circles.Oh well !!
And Gotham: All thanks to my siblings for the discovery of Gotham and the awesomeness that is the Riddler and Penguin.Gotham has definitely substituted Castle for me ,never mind that they are completely different genres.
On fear and anxiety and unbelief: Oh! these gorgons .Of these things I have sunk into depression at times wondering why,wondering how,wondering if and when,afraid of the future,afraid of the unknown. Sometimes the fears that gnaw at me are totally unfounded and sometimes they are real but either way,they always leave me wondering why I didn’t trust God in the first place.God is causing me to trust.
On change : Still hate it.
On the Christ Life: Look to Christ,Look to Christ,Look ONLY to Christ.This of course will be my lifelong lesson.I realize that my mind can be in turmoil over various things(being the thinker that Iam)and the only thing that calms me is when I slow down and allow Christ to find me.The recognition that He is my very life ,He has taken over and this life that I live is not my own brings me perfect peace. Independence is a lie for me.I realize that I need Him not only in the bad times,because well that is easier for me,but also in the good times.To know that my whole life and everything Iam and have is entirely His.This God has kept me when I couldn’t keep myself ,woos me,gets me in all the small ways partial only to me and since I have Him I have EVERYTHING I could ever want.
On dreams: I think soon I’ll revive some of them.Maybe start singing again 😉
On regrets:Now, I have always had the habit of looking back and beating myself up about every little thing that has gone wrong.Some of these things are my fault of course especially in relationships and some of them just would have happened no matter what ,but Iam that girl that will sit down,even make a timetable for it,to obsessively dissect bit by bit every word I said,every mannerism, body language,every thought,Just know every little thing.This is another one of the things where God is teaching me to trust Him. Because whether I screw up or not,He does have ways of disentangling my mess.He is for real more than able to.As in He has both the power and the willingness to make everything alright. Remember Psalm 139:5 “You go before me and follow me. You have laid Your hand upon me”He not only looks out for me for the future,He not only hems me in and constantly watches me from all sides. but His Grace also covers my past.No wonder it follows that such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!Yes He is of all might.Yes I will believe and trust Him.
On friendship: On this I’ll start with this note to self: Stop expecting.I think this has been the cause of a lot of my disappointments and heartache.I know its hard to completely do away with this because humanly speaking,there is a bit of expectation we put on those close to us,those we have allowed into our private spaces.We expect them to be there,available when we need them,but everyone has problems and issues and sometimes people just can’t be there.We all get caught up in our own worlds and sometimes forget that other people have issues too and probably need us more.So what I am learning is this,God always places help for us in various sources but we are just stuck on that one particular person that we want to be there but they could not.So I will take friendship in whatever form from whoever I find ,thank God and move on and avoid the awkwardness that comes with resentment because of unfulfilled expectations.At the end of it all,Christ is the only true friend,who will always be there.