Just musing…

My thoughts float around like willowy smoke in the sky, they long to be given form .But I am not good with imagery and flowery words; Alas! I fail.

First on my mind is you, yes, you!!We could have worked, Lent the world our awesome weirdness, but you ran. Just when we were both coming around. Circumstances? Fate? Destiny? God? Me? You? I don’t know. Maybe one day we’ll find out who to blame.

Life; where it’s going and whether I’ll really ever take those nostalgic dreams and reveries off the shelf. Because I keep telling myself I gave up on them? But did I? Did I when they still haunt me in the night?

Pondering on Christ. At least the one thing I know is sure. Sometimes I wish I could hurry my knowing of you. Wish I could understand these things. Wish I could get revelation with every word about you I read. Wish my flesh would not constantly raise its medusa-head of unbelief and anxiety and fear and apprehension and frustration and regret.

Christ my surety, my comfort and my sanity.

Friends; I’m amazed at how God has brought me to a place where I can finally let go when I can’t hold on anymore and not fight to belong like before. The value of a few close friends and learning to appreciate what I can get from a few that can give it. And of course learning to be there. To reach out. To get out of my comfort zone of introversion and get out of home and do something that involves meeting new people and making friends. Kwonka this is so hard. How do people do it?

They cancelled “Castle”. Can you imagine? What am I going to watch now that all my shows have been stopped? No castle, no Downtown Abbey. All I’m left with is TBBT and Modern family. I may be forced to join the GOT craze. (The horror!!)

Wait!I just remembered I discovered through my sister something right up my alley. “This is us.”  I have somewhere to run to after all.

And needtobreathe has new music.yaaay 🙂

Reading; Still on “the Christian secret of a happy life”. I also have a Rees Howells biography lined up for after. It’s written by Norman Grubb. Imagine that! It’s going to haunt me.I can feel it already. It’s going to haunt me like God’s generals and I won’t even be able to sleep.Hehehe.

But how come they don’t make my beloved gothic romances anymore. What is there now is tooo sexualized or some weird supernatural bs.Most of my friends cringe when they hear that’s my favorite genre. I do NOT mean supernatural fiction.But anyway, this is what I mean when I say Gothic romance. Think Jane Eyre, wuthering heights, Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier.Think Victoria Holt, Mary Stewart and Simone St James.

Definition from urban dictionary;

Gothic: A style of literature considered both dark and romantic and heavy on the drama (see “wuthering heights”) NOTE: not generally horror or supernatural stories.

I’ve clearly rambled enough. Anyway I’ll be fine 🙂

Love Always…


2 thoughts on “Just musing…

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